First Day of Kindergarten

Last spring, I registered Cassidi for kindergarten.  We walked into the Elementary school, Cassidi clinging tightly to my hand.  As we walked around the school, she became more and more quiet and squeezed my hand as if I were her saving life-line.  I tried to speak cheerfully about going to school in the fall, but the words were shallow and rang false.  All I could feel was fear flowing like an electric current between our clasped hands.

By the time we registered and left the school, I had to consentrate on not throwing-up at the curb.  How could I send this sweet, innocent child into the hands of comeplete strangers?  Who would protect her from that mean boy on the play ground?  How would she know where to go and how to manuver the swirls of social complexities?  Would she be ready?  How can I send my angel to school?  I CAN'T!

Four months passed; months in which I oselated between sending her to boot camp to rid myself permenantly and holding her as close as I could not ever wanting to be parted from her.  Something happens at age 5.  In birds they call it fledging.  The sweet little bird becomes discontent with the nest and needs more room to grow.  So they stretch their wings and are willing to fall out of the nest, with only a hope of flight.  As much as I want to hold on to her and make her remain my baby, Cassidi is ready to fly.  She wants to go.

So, mama bird puts on sunglasses to hide the tears as her beautiful, bright, bouncy girls bops right into class without a backwards glance.

Life will never be the same.  We have begun a 13 year journey that will only end in a more permenant fledging.  Perhaps by that time it will be more like flying south for the winter.  A long winter, so far south, Mom and Dad can not peak in the window or rush to the curb ready to scoop the beautiful smiling girl into their arms, at each day's end.  Until then, we will love every moment we get to witness the amazing transformation from tiny and adorable to bright and beautiful.

Cassidi's enthusiasm for life is contagious.  Both Clanci and I want to go with her to class after the tales of adventure she tells.  Here are a few of my favorite remarks from Cassidi:

"I was so busy working, I didn't get to think of Clanci."
"I have a hundred and forty-five friends."
"It was sooo fun, we played on the computers and had recess like five times."
"Mom, I am ready to ride the bus!"
"There was something awful that happened.  My teacher said to listen and nobody did except me and they all got in trouble.'
"Dad, I think I'm ready for Saturday.  That was a long day - I got really tired." (on Tuesday the 1st day)